Look What You’ve Done, Internet! You’ve Totally Screwed Over These People
The Internet has completely revolutionized the way we live — mostly for the better. But, as with any profound human advancement, it’s left some casualties along the path to progress. Here are 12 people who have been totally screwed over by the Internet. An apology note isn’t going to cut it:
Try getting laid when you’ve been the unofficial spokesman for Internet douche-baggery since 2011. Needless to say, real-life Scumbag Steve, born Blake Boston, was not pleased to discover his accidental infamy, and the ensuing Internet flack that came his way. Boston — who, to our delight, has also been known as rapper 凡eezy B”– told Know Your Meme that his mother actually took the photo that made him Internet viral fodder, and she was upset to see what had become of her snapshots.
Real Princes Of Nigeria
The infamous “Prince of Nigeria” is the crowned king of email scam artists. That said, the tactics used in these emails began ages ago, far away from the traditional royal rulers of Nigeria’s many states. The Nigerian government has taken steps to prevent Internet fraud, but impostors continue to impersonate Nigerian royalty to this day.
Your Local Adult DVD Shop Employee
An estimated 30 percent of all Internet traffic goes to — you guessed it — porn sites. This easy NSFW video browsing has devastated the adult DVD industry — with sales falling approximately 50 percent since 2007. We’re shocked that people opted to steer clear of those sketchy adult corner stores once they had an alternative.
The Obamacare Woman
This lady thought she was going to be the face of healthcare reform — instead, she pretty much became the face of failure and political disenchantment around the nation. She was initially rumored to be in the U.S. without documentation, but she eventually identified herself to the media as Adriana, a documented immigrant from Colombia. Her face was eventually removed from the troubled website, but not before a serious outpouring of Obamacare hatred was sent her way.
Your Neighborhood Travel Agent
Though the travel agent didn’t completely evaporate with the boom of the internet and travel booking sites, the jobs prospects became bleaker than trying to find a last minute flight on Christmas Eve.
Anyone Legitimately Trying To Market Male Enhancement Pills
The fabled “Male enhancement pill” is practically synonymous with “Internet spam,” though the development of spam filters has probably eliminated most of the messages from your inbox. But what of the honest peddler of these goods? They have to exist somewhere, and the Internet has certainly made their jobs a lot harder.
This Hipster With A Typewriter
Can’t a guy enjoy a pleasant date in the park with his vintage typewriter without being subjected to Internet mockery? Apparently not, as the wordsmith behind the eternally despised hipster meme recently discovered. Earlier this year, he chronicled the ensuing, somewhat predictable dose of hipster-bashing he encountered after rocketing to Reddit infamy.
Manti Te 獣
Plenty of people get catfished, but perhaps none as famously as this former Notre Dame football player, who apparently was tricked into believing that his Internet girlfriend had died on the same day that his grandmother passed away last year. Some Internet sleuthing revealed that the girlfriend was completely made up, and the story subsequently became one of the biggest viral facepalms in recent memory.
Some accused Te’o of being in on the hoax, which he repeatedly denied. The story has continued to follow him through an unsuccessful first season in the NFL.
CD Collectors And Enthusiasts
The explosion of digital media relegated CD sales to a progressive decline. What of CD collectors? They’d probably be put somewhere above Beanie Baby collectors and below Canadian stamp collectors on the totem pole of ill-advised hoarders. According to one study, even greedy thieves would probably now walk right past your CD library cases, so make sure to hide all of your valuable behind them. That said, compact discs were never destined to last. Seriously, they’ve been known to rot.
Annoying Facebook Girl
How could one bad photo manage to represent the entire history of poor social media etiquette? Just ask Annoying Facebook Girl. Well, you can’t really ask her, as she’s wisely remained untraceable via social media, though several students from Eastern Illinois University claimed to know her. Who can blame her for staying under the radar — what would you do if your least photogenic moment ever went viral?
Everybody’s Favorite “College Freshman”
You probably know this guy as the face of higher-education “noobs,” near and far. According to Know Your Meme, real-life Griffin Kiritsy wrote an in-depth blog entry bemoaning his accidental rise to internet fame. The blog has since been deleted, but this ever-smiling scholar continues to represent scores of naive college freshmen.
While not technically people (thought that probably depends who you ask), cats are basically the unpaid labor of the Internet. Since the dawning of memes, fame-hungry owners have forced their felines to endure all manners of indignity in their quest for Internet fame.
They’ve worn bread slices as hats:
And modeled ill-fitting hosiery:
We’ve had fat cats, bored cats, hipster cats, standing cats, grumpy cats … not even cat royalty is safe from embarrassment on the world wide web:
These are just some of the hapless victims of Internet-induced fame, irrelevance, and/or total humiliation. Think of them as cautionary tales — or as convincing arguments for setting all your Facebook photos as private.